As stated in the 'latest news' section of our website, we have been reading up on adoption attachment. I will post some reference links at the end of this post if you would like to do some additional reading on this topic.
We have decided on some policies that we want everyone to know about now (prior to our baby coming home), so no one will be offended when the actual event occurs. Please understand that we are doing what we feel is best for our child & appreciate your support in this. Also, being not only first time parents but also parents of a child who has potentially spent the first year of her life in institutional care, we will be on the cautious side when it comes to promoting attachment. That's not to say that things could potentially be relaxed depending on how everything is going, but we would rather prepare now (plan for the worst, pray for the best).
Our policies to promote attachment are as follows:
1. No one will hold Madison for the first 3 months except Matt or Tanya. If you would like to get close to her you can sit next to one of us on the couch or we can sit her on the floor by us & you can see her there.
2. No one will feed, bathe, change, rock to sleep Madison except Matt or Tanya for 3 months.
3. We respectfully request that visits be kept at a minimum for the 2-3 weeks after we return home. We will plan to have a dedication of Madison at church & a party following so everyone who wants to meet her can.
Please let us know if you have any questions on this. Again, we do not want to hurt anyone's feelings and we appreciate your support in this effort. Our goal is to raise a healthy, happy, well adjusted child and know that you will help us in this.
Attachment in Adoption, by Deborah Gray