As the day gets closer for our referral, I find myself having a lot more quite time to reflect & pray about the next couple of months. I have read in many other blogs & in various places from parents returning with their babies that this is the time to take a deep breath & enjoy before our life gets turned on it's ear.
Although this past 2 years have been very hard at times, I have found a peace in the waiting. Last year about this time when I realized that the wait would stretch out much longer, I finally came to a place of acceptance. It seems strange but the past year has actually gone by pretty fast. I feel blessed to have this time to really prepare for the journey ahead. I know the days ahead may have a lot of difficult moments, but I finally feel ready to face them.
In many regards I feel blessed to have had this extra time. I think of the friends & family I know that have unexpectedly found themselves pregnant & not ready for a baby (or another one) and they have little time to pull it all together for this life change. We have had the luxury of being able to plan & think things through. We have been able to talk about what kind of parents we want to be & what stances we may take on various topics. I know some of what we decided may need to be flexible, but we have the foundation (on God) at least that gives us our guiding principles for decisions.
We are ready, now bring on those referrals!!